Seventh Viking Charge [Video]

[punchandkiss]

[Astrid is sitting on a bench outside of one of the big stores in Goldenrod, looking...a bit cross. After a minute of glaring at the camera, she reaches off screen and holds up a blue and yellow guitar.]

Whoever told me you could buy axes in Goldenrod, if this is what you meant...

[Yes, she's cross!]

This is not an axe! It's some kind of music...thing. I don't know. I asked for an axe and the guy sold me this. I don't even know what to do with it! I thought maybe it was a carrying case for an axe, some kind of modern...trick.

But it's not!

[She huffs and sets her guitar back down in her lap, plucking irritably at one of the strings.]

I don't suppose anybody does know what to do with it? I bought it, I have to do something with it.

[Another pause, and then she seems to remember something.]

Oh right, also. There's a thing that teaches pokemon to fly? A disc or square or...I don't know, whatever the word is. Someone said you can use it more than once, does anybody in goldenrod have one I could borrow for a couple minutes?

Comments

[usedshooshpap]

Uh... It's a weapon that fires projectiles with explosive powder.

[punchandkiss]

...Why would you want a weapon that explodes?

[usedshooshpap]

It's fast, ranged, and lethal.

[punchandkiss]

Like a bow? Or a catapult?

[usedshooshpap]

Closer to a bow.

[punchandkiss]

Hmm.

I'd still want to have an axe.

[papshooshing]

And I still prefer my sickle.

[punchandkiss]

What, you mean for cutting down plants?

[papshooshing]

That was my weapon of choice!

[punchandkiss]

Oh. I guess that's cool. But why not a sword or an axe?

[papshooshing]

Threshecutioners don't use swords or axes. They use sickles.

[punchandkiss]

...Threshecutioners?

[papshooshing]

They were a unit back in my home universe. Threshecutioners were the most ruthless caste of warriors.

I kind of... Aspired to be one.

[punchandkiss]

You wanted to be a ruthless warrior.

[Sorry Karkat, she doesn't mean to sound so surprised...]

[papshooshing]

I've killed thousands of goddamned imps! Conquering inferior shit heads is what trolls do.

Of course I'd want to be part of the fucking best!

[punchandkiss]

...Imps sound pretty small...

[papshooshing]

Ogres aren't.

[punchandkiss]

Did you kill hundreds of those?

[papshooshing]

Wouldn't surprise me. I did spend roughly six hundred hours at this shit.

[punchandkiss]

Wow, that's a lot of training.

[papshooshing]

That wasn't training. That was fucking survival.

[punchandkiss]

Well, can't it be both?

[papshooshing]

I don't know. Maybe?

There's nothing left to train for.

[punchandkiss]

Not here, I guess...

Well, unless you want badges.